I've been thinking about this blog for the last 14 days, maybe longer. Most of the people I know dread the whole Valentine's day craze. Let's be honest, it sort of sucks to be alone on a day create to celebrate romantic love and cupids and silly candied-hearts, am I right? But I've never given this holiday much thought-- even if I was in a relationship. It didn't seem like a big deal to me.
This is the first year it's hit me that, "hey, I'm alone on V-day and it's the first time in how ever long, that it's bothered me to be the single chick.... damn". Maybe because I thought I'd be living in Virigina this time last year, with my fiance and celebrating like people in retardedly in love do.
Last Valentine's day, he was on base and I have given myself a concusion on accident, so it didn't much matter. I did, however, have to cancel my plans to go hiking with my friend Mary.
My inattention to Valentine's day isn't because I'm bitter (I'd like to say obviously, but maybe it isn't?), or because I'm this sort of apathetic, non-romantic type. I'm pretty sure most people in my life can vouch for the fact that at heart, I am helpless, stupidly. and whole-heartedly romantic.
But it's because I find the whole notion sort of silly.
If you're with someone, you should do little things each and every day to celebrate that fact. It isn't like you disregard each other all year long, just to say I love you on February 14th. That doesn't make any sense to me. It should be something that is acknowledged and celebrated every single day you're with your significant other. That's what I don't understand about the holiday.
Oh look, I got you a stuffed bear with a heart... I must really love you. Yeah.... right.
So maybe I am the slightest bit bitter; like I said, this is the first year I've given thought to be single on this day. Not necessarily what I wanted at 21. Though most days, what I want varies... so this is probably perfect for where I'm at.
Three people have asked me to be their Valentines for tomorrow: two of my exes, and someone who wishes he was an ex. And let me just say, whichever way you slice it, it isn't happening. If I was really so concerned with being alone, then it wouldn't matter who these guys were, it would just matter that someone considered me for a second and thought I was good enough to spend money on for a night. And, for as much as I don't understand the holiday, I'd like my Valentine to mean something, to be someone special to me. Not someone who I dated once or whatever.
Instead of saying yes and making nice and going on a half-assed date I don't actually want to be on, with someone I'm not attracted to, I'm going to spend my night with a great group of people.
We're grabbing a late dinner and having drinks and honestly, there is no one else I would rather spend today with.
These are the people I love most in the world aside from my family. And that's what today is all about, right? Love and sharing time and selves with those we love. So... even though we'll be surrounded by couples, we'll be together and celebrating friendships that have lasted years.
And really, let's face it, these people will probably be around longer than a significant other.
I'm just excited for dressing up and drinking margaritas.
Hey, if I can't have what it is I want, I'm going to make the best out of what it is I've got. It may not be much, but for right now, it does just fine.
