Welcoming in the New Year

What I've Learned in 2011:
-It's impossible to move forward, if you're constantly looking back
-No one loves me quite like my mother
-I will always love my brothers and sister, no matter how pig-headed, bitchy, or rude they are
-Disliking someone doesn't make you strong/better, it makes you bitter
-And carrying hate is a poison
-You can never go back, no matter how desperately you want to
-When in doubt, write
-When in doubt, read
-When in doubt, sing
-Loving yourself is the whole battle, but some days, it's like war.
-I don't deserve Kristin, and somehow she's still by my side
-Leaving is hard; leaving slowly is worse
-Always keep a smile on your face
-Not everyone will understand, but those that love you will at least make an effort
-It's better to lose an argument, than to lose a friend
-Forgiveness is for yourself, not for the other person
-Tea in the morning is the best possible way to start the day
-Tea before bed is the best possible way to end the night
-Wanting something isn't enough, you have to pursue it
-You can't wish things into fruition
-It's more than okay to cry
-It's okay to be vulnerable
-It's okay to protect yourself, as well
-Waiting for something or someone, that will never happen/come, is a waste of time
-There is always room for improvement

-Change is constant and never-ending
-Expect the unexpected
-Those who love you, who you love, will undoubtedly let you down
-Never leave home without a true designated driver
-Beauty isn't hard to find, it's in everything and everyone
-Don't give up on books (even if they're in the first person narrative)
-I am loved more than I know

It really is unbelievable that we're saying goodbye to another year.
I've healed beyond what I thought possible at the start of 2011. I'm grateful for what has been a truly unexpected mix of uncertainty, love, tears, and what seems like an endless supply of laughter and affection. I've been lucky enough to realize who my true friends are, who they've always been, and those who would have me around for entertainment when they're bored. I've found a will in myself that I thought I'd lost, though it took me longer to find my resolve than I would have liked. I've never loved myself or been more dedicated to making the best life possible for myself. My respect for my mother grows daily, my gratitude for my little brother has never wavered, and I know that at the end of the day, my older siblings love me, just as much as I love them.

It's been a hard year. And because of that, I'm looking forward to moving on, leaving it behind, and enforcing all I've learned to make my life a better one.

And as weird as it sounds, through all the hardship, I've never had a better year. I was able to let my hair down in a way I've never had the chance to before. Every waking moment was full of friends and love and memories being made. And I will cherish those moments for the rest of my life.

2012 will be better.
Not because it has to be, but because I'm going to work hard to make sure it is.

I'm going to ring it in with my best friend, as we wear our pretty clothes and drink marshmallow flavored vodka, while we play board games. And I honestly couldn't think of a better way to greet the coming year: my mom, my best friend, and my brother (and of course, a quick call to my nephews and older siblings).

I'm grateful. I'm thankful. And I'm already nostalgic for this conflicting, but ridiculously beautiful year.

Thanks, 2011.
Hey there, 2011; you're just in time.

Friday Review: L'Oreal Paris Lineur Intense Felt Tip Liquid Liner

(I've been considering making product review a staple of my blog for a while now and figured today was a good day to start. I'd like to say it will be a consistent Friday blog update, but I won't make promises I don't know if I can keep. I'll try, though!)

As most of my friends know, I am a collector of eyeliners. Not only that, I am forever on my own personal search for the perfect eyeliner. I can't begin to tell you how many I've tried over the years, but I can tell you I've tried every medium of eyeliner possible: crayon, pencil, dusted eyeshadow, felt tip, liquid, gel-liner and I've yet to find something that really works for me.

Unfortunately I'm the type of person who is constantly touching her eyes. Whether it's because I forgot my glasses, or I'm just bored and need to do something with my hands, by the end of the day I've smudged up my eyeliner pass repair. I'll come home and gape at the mirror in horror over the state of my eye makeup-- and then panic, because unbeknownst to me, I've gone around looking like a girl who got stood up on prom night for who knows how long.

My main mode of eyeliner (as of late) has been the tired and true method of lining my upper lash line and tight line with a kohl eyeliner, smudging along my outer lash liner and patting black eye-shadow over it. There's a reason it's a tired and true method-- it works. However, I also have sensitive eyes, and so much product really bothers me. So while it stays put almost all day, I'm miserable.

For the last few months, I've heard nothing but rave reviews for L'Oreal Paris' Lineur Intense. Having been let down by felt tip liners before (not enough product, too streaky, not enough coverage), I was wary to spend the money on it. And instead reached for another L'Oreal product that then disappointed me beyond my wildest dreams, just because it was $4 cheaper.

L'Oreal's website says this:

The uniquely designed applicator of Lineur Intense Felt Tip Liquid Liner allows you to create delicately thin or dramatically bold lines with precision.
-All Day Wear / Up to 8 hours

-Fragrance free

-Ophthalmologist Tested

-Suitable for sensitive eyes & contact lens wearers.

I have to say I've never been happier with an eyeliner.

 It doesn't melt weirdly or smear to other parts of my face, it stays in place until I don't want it to. The color payoff is excellent. It's not a streak-prone formula-- I only need two swipes of it for each eye, and then I'm done: perfect cat-eye (which is another thing I've never been able to pull off due to my smaller eyes and constant rubbing of my face).

L'Oreal has it listed for $6.50 (USD), though I think the one I bought from Target was closer to $8, while the original one I refused to buy, cost $12 at a 24-hour CVS.

If you're in the market for a remarkable (and affordable) eyeliner, then I suggest you rush to your local drugstore and pick one of these up. I prefer for the shade 'Carbon Black' (which apparently sells out fairly quickly), but there's three other colors to pick from: 'Black Mica,' 'Earthen Rock Brown,' and 'Mineral Grey'.

I'm sure you'll find something that suits your taste!

I'm giving this product an: A+
Product: 10/10
Pigment: 10/10
Texture: 10/10
Longevity: 10/10
Application: 10/10
Packaging: 10/10

Ten Points to Slytherin!

I really just wanted to share this!
Lately (the last four/five months), I've found myself interested in the art of pole-dancing. The muscle control, the beauty of it, the intense training it takes, and what-not. And when a friend of mine brought this to my attention, you can only imagine how psyched I was! Harry Potter (my favorite thing in the world) and an amazing performance; what's not to love?
Also, that dub-step is kind of awesome.

Anyway, hope you all get a kick out of it!

“A friend took me to the most amazing place the other day. It’s called the Augusteum. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed it a long with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome’s first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, would be in ruins. It’s one of the quietest, loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a precious wound, a heartbreak you won’t let go of because it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we’re afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic, it’s just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”

Rosy Child

Strong and Wild

Holiday Haul & Then Some.

Christmas Haul:

-Benefit's Nice Knickers Silky Finish Lipstick
-Benefit's Jung-a-Ling Silky Finish Lipstick
-Benefit's Cream Shadows in RSVP & Flatter Me
-Benefit's Badgal Lash Mascara (which is now my favorite, next to Maybelline's Great Lash)
-Benefit's Sugarbomb blush
-Benefit's 'That Gal' Primer
-Two sets of Benefit's Crescent Row Perfume Collection (new favorite perfume: My Place or Yours, Gina)
-Benefit's Girl Meets Pearl
-Benefit's High Beam
-Benefit's Posie-tint
-Benefit's Ticket To Glossytown Collection (set of five lipglosses)
-Two pairs of black opaque tights
-Two black suede booties, one lace up and the other with zippers
-Black patent pumps
-New black boots
-Gold ballet flats
-New black (lace) bra

-Five corresponding lace panties
-Two pleated skirts: one in green, the other in red with bicycle pattern (both with brown leather belts)
-Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
-David Nicholl's One Day
-Two perfume set/spray, Baby Soft (this was what I wore growing up, when I wanted to be an 'adult.' It takes me back to a sweet place)
-New Harry Potter Scene It
-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows PT 2
-Forever 21 giftcard

-Barnes and Noble giftcard
-Kohls giftcard

-Iwan Rheon's Tongue Tied EP (early present from myself)
-Money

It seems like a ton of things, I know! But thankfully a lot of the makeup came in Holiday sets, so the cost wasn't as great as they're ordinarily be! I'm sincerely so appreciative for everyone and their gifts, I was honestly overwhelmed with it all. It's also a portion of my birthday gifts, which is nice. I always feel super awkward on my birthday, especially when I'm with my family; I'm just not comfortable with so many people giving me, and only me, presents. So throwing most of it in with Christmas made me feel less like a spoiled brat.

Speaking of! I'll be celebrating my 22nd birthday in two weeks.  I still have no idea what I'll do to celebrate, but I'm excited, nonetheless. That also means I'll have my '22 things before 23' list up sometime soon! I'm not especially talented with design or anything, so my list won't be beautiful-- but I can't wait to share it.

Life is going to be interesting for the next three weeks... While I'm not convinced that it'll be a good three weeks (in fact, I'm pretty confident I'll be as emotional for the coming weeks, as I was all day yesterday...), it will without a doubt be interesting.

Other than that, I'm not entirely sure what to say. Hope you all had a great holiday! Keep safe.

Cheers.

Happy Christmas Day!

Another (promised) track from my Jingle Spells CD. "Happy Christmas Day"- Oliver Boyd and the Rememberalls. It's just a very sweet song and I love it. If I had been more attentive to my blog, I would have posted the entire album (or close to it, anyway). I hope you guys like it as much as I do! And let's face it, Harry Potter anything is just about the best thing ever. (Anyone else totally stoked that Wizarding World of Harry Potter has finally been announced in Southern Cali?)

I hope you're all having a tremendous holiday season!
Regardless of what you believe, what you celebrate, or if you're celebrating in hopes of stimulating the economy, I sincerely wish that you're with people who love you. And if for whatever reason you're not, then here's a bit of love to tide you over until you're reunited with them again!

I'll probably do some sort of haul this coming week.

Stay warm, Stay bright.

xx

Rest in peace, cousin Howard.

Yesterday morning, my cousin Howard passed away from heart failure. This picture was taken at the beginning of September at his daughter's wedding.

I didn't know Howard as much as I would have liked, but that can be said for most of the people on my dad's side of the family. However, Howard was one of the most genuine people I'd ever met. He had an endless supply of encouragement, was never without a joke or two, always opened his home to others, had a brilliant mind (along with a sharp wit), and loved his family without conditions.

Out of all of my cousins (the older generation), he has held a special place in my heart for all of those attributes. When I think of him, I think of his kindly smile and gentle, yet so sure voice. I think affectionately of the way he stood proudly, never taking for granted the fact that he could stand at all (cane or no cane, he was grateful). I think of the generous words he spoke at my uncle's funeral in 2008, and smile while my eyes tear up.

Though I didn't know him for very long, I've been blessed with numerous memories of family gatherings, stories told by the older generation about their time as young boys, and the ridiculous amount of warmth that fills me up when I think of him.

I know he was sick for a long time, and even though I know that pain he experienced daily is gone, I still can't help but wish that he been around longer. I'm just glad he was able to see both of his girls get married.

His memorial service is on Thursday. And even though it will be good to see my family, I wish it were under better circumstances.

Hair, Dad, Christmas things, and Other stuff.

Got my hair cut and dyed on Saturday morning. I really love the color, though my webcam doesn't do it any sort of justice (but you can sort of see a red hint here and there). I'm not 100% crazy about the cut. I had asked for heavier bangs, but no matter how many pictures I showed her or how many times I explained what it was I wanted, she still went with this weird piece-y look that I just can't appreciate (I've seen it look great on other girls, but it just wasn't what I was hoping for/imagining, so I'm disappointed with it). I am going to have the bangs corrected at some point, though probably when my hair has grown out a bit more. I'm also not crazy about the layering in the front (I dig it in the back!), but I just don't like how it frames my face (I have a very strong face without the framing-- high cheek bones and all). But otherwise, the color looks great with my skin: it's a mixture of electric red and mahogany. It's a color I worked on with my stylist, who now has it on file and will pull out our mixture the next time I come in for a color. It's not something you can walk into any salon and get done, so that's pretty cool.

My dad seems to be doing better. Finn and I saw him Saturday night for a bit. He still has moments where he's slurring his words, or he'll forget what he's saying and look off into space awkwardly. But he's no longer ashen faced or falling asleep every two seconds. He's still on alert for the next month or so for a massive stroke, and his doctor said he will most likely have another TIA or two before he's out of the woods, but we're all hoping for the best.

To say I'm excited for this month's festivities would be an understatement! Aside for a few people, I'm making gifts this year. I can't wait to get started. I just to need to blow up some photos, get them photo copied, buy some wood pieces, modpodge, and get to work. I also need to hit the thrift stores for some fun accents for the pieces. After I have them done and it's after Christmas, I'll post a few photos of these beauties. I'm also going to be doing a lot of baking/not-baking for my friends and their families. I found a new recipe for baklava for my dad, which I think he'll like, though baklava is notoriously hard to make! But if anyone could do it, it's me. I have lists of treats for my sister, who is demanding I overnight them to Washington for her belly (including the baklava). I think I'm most excited for my mom's presents this year, though. Her birthday is five days before Christmas, so she gets extra spoiled every December... but I think we'll have out-done ourselves this year with the spoiling. Not to mention there's the mandatory visit to Thoroughbread for lights and hot chocolate. A trip to Oak Glenn for mountains, apple orchards, crisp air, and an always, all around great time. A lot of people will be out here for the holidays as well! And I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone and catching up.

On a completely unrelated note, I've been catching up on American Horror Story and am absolutely in love with the series. It's the most original thing I've seen on American TV in a long while. I adore all of the background stories that converge into one plot... it's just great. I've also started watching the first season of The Walking Dead, which is basically my worst nightmare come to life, but I've become addicted. Admittedly my introduction to TWD was out of order-- I began watching the series in the second season, completely clueless to what the hell was going on, but watching because it was on and being too mesmerized to change the channel. Who would have thought, huh?

I'm working from home this week. My boss gave me the weekend off to deal with my family stuff, and now she's having some family issues of her own. So this week I'm making calls and filing and collecting receipts for a few hours a day. Honestly though, I feel better being close to home right now. With dad the way he is, mom feeling terrible every time she moves, and Jon not really knowing how to handle either if something bad were to happen.

I woke up in a ton of pain this morning. The joys of being a woman. So I'm having Thai for dinner and I can't be fucked to worry about it. Pad thai, shrimp rice, fried wontons, and veggie soup.

Anyway. I should get going! Hope everyone is doing well.

Cheers.

Devil On Your Back.

I've had this song stuck in my head all day; either because when  I got ready for this morning, I was listening to Ceremonials or because it's uplifting in a great way.

While at work, I got a text from my mom saying that my dad couldn't pick my brother up from school tomorrow because he was in the hospital. After trying to get a hold of him, I frantically called my little brother who didn't answer, and then called my older brother (yelled at him like a psycho on accident) before finding out he absolutely had no idea what was going on. Suffice it to say that I got emotional and then rushed to our local hospital.

Turns out he had two TIAs commonly know as 'mimic strokes.' And they are exactly what they sound like; they present exactly like a stroke would except they don't last very long, there are no side effects (loss of motor control, speech damage), and they don't damage any tissue in the body. What they say, however, is that a massive stroke may be on the horizon.  What happens is that the clot/mass breaks up before it can cause permanent damage, and that's that for the time being.

The first TIA happened while he and a friend were driving to breakfast. He got into the wrong lane and couldn't figure out why, before losing the ability to form coherent sentences and his limbs went numb. Luckily there was someone else in the car and they were able to pull them to the side, take over and bring him to the hospital.

While my dad was being seen by the doctor in emergency, the other one hit. Same thing, he was talking but wasn't making sense, his limbs went numb, chest pains, and it felt like a balloon was expanding in his head. They had to admit him right away.

I sat with him for about seven hours, until visiting hours were over and he was settling down for bed. I'm exhausted.

If his MRI comes back clean and he has no relapse in the middle of the night (they test your cognitive, speech, and swallowing abilities every four hours), then he'll be discharged with a stroke prevention plan sometime tomorrow. If he's there past 10am, I'm going to go back and sit with him.

As weird as it sounds, but if this had to happen, I'm glad that it happened today. Tomorrow he would have been driving a total of 12 hours (six up and back), to pick up my brother and his roommate for winter break. If he had been by himself, who knows what would have happened; even worse, if Finn and Ricky had been in the car, things I can't even fathom what might have happened.

One of my worst fears was that my dad and I wouldn't be reconciled and something like this would happen. I feel so fortunate that we've been able to sit down and talk in the past few months, to try and work on rebuilding our relationship. If we hadn't and if things had been worse... I'm not sure how I would have been able to live with myself.

Please keep him and the rest of my family in your prayers.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

 I've been waiting for this trailer since I read the book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close back when I was eighteen. There's no doubt that I have a lot of favorite books and authors, but EL&IC touched my heart in ways I didn't think possible for a novel. I got it for Christmas, began reading it on December 30th and welcomed in the New Year with a renewed hope and tears in my eyes.

Jonathan Safran Foer emerged as one of the most original writers of his generation with his best-selling debut novel,Everything Is Illuminated. Now, with humor, tenderness, and awe, he confronts the traumas of our recent history.

Nine-year-old Oskar Schell has embarked on an urgent, secret mission that will take him through the five boroughs of New York. His goal is to find the lock that matches a mysterious key that belonged to his father, who died in the World Trade Center on the morning of September 11. This seemingly impossible task will bring Oskar into contact with survivors of all sorts on an exhilarating, affecting, often hilarious, and ultimately healing journey.
I'm so excited to see this come to fruition after so many years of love for these characters and the story they tell. Oskar has become so dear to me, and when I've felt so low that I didn't think I could go on, I think of his unique point of view, his hardships, and his ability to see the beauty and wonder still left in the world. Who thought you could learn so much for a boy who doesn't even exist?

I hope that you'll read the book; read it and let it change you. And I hope that you'll remember Oskar and his heart when you feel like things are absolutely impossible.

When the movie was announced, I was a little unsure how they would pull off his journey, but after seeing the trailer (and crying my eyes out), there's no doubt that those tasked with adapting one of my favorite books, have done nothing short of amazing. 

Christmas With the Weasleys (Or What You Will).

Christmas with the Weasleys- The Remus Lupins! This is one of my favorites off of Jingle Spells '07. I hope everyone likes it as much as I do! It's sort of how I picture what my own family will be like someday.

1: Favorite christmas song and why?
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (Judy Garland)- It reminds me of my grandmother, and I honestly can't listen to it without tearing up. If you've heard it or seen Meet Me in St. Louis, I think you'll understand how heart-warming and beautiful it is.
Carol of the Bells- It just reminds me of choir! It's the epitome of Christmas music to me!
Happy Christmas Day- Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls- I'll post it in a few days and you'll understand!

2: Favorite Christmas movie and why?
It's a Wonderful Life- It's a great movie? I mean, is there anything else I need to say? 

3: Hot chocolate or hot apple cider?
Both? I love curling up on the couch with a mug of hot chocolate, fire place on, and a blanket.
Apple cider when I go to Oak Glenn! I love the apple orchards and they make the best hot apple cider.

4: Does your family have any traditions?
We have a 'traditional' Christmas morning breakfast, a 'traditional' Christmas eve or day dinner, present rotation, and when we were growing up one of our parents would read 'The Night Before Christmas' to us before bed. 

5: Favorite Christmas memory
My favorite growing up was an accident. One morning, not sure how old we were (but we were fairly young), Finn and I were too anxious to start the wrapping paper torture, ran into our parents' room while they were still sleeping and one of us accidentally knocked on their alarm clock. Alvin and the Chipmunk's Christmas song started playing and the two of us came up with a dance on the spot, and sang our parents awake.
The other would be receiving photos of an alien baby, now known as Hayden, one Christmas morning when my brother announced he and his then wife were pregnant.

6: who is your favorite reindeer?
I've always dug Prancer's name? 

7: Have you been naughty or nice this year?
A healthy dose of both, I'd say?

8. What is your favorite food at Christmas time?
I'm not sure if I have a favorite, exactly; I just really appreciate the homemade spread. 

9: What are you doing for Christmas this year?
I'm not entirely sure, actually. I'm sure it'll be great, regardless though!

10: Kissing under the mistletoe…have you done it?
Yes, indeed. 

11: What kind of Christmas tree do you have?
We literally have the Charlie Brown Christmas tree. It's pretty adorable.

12: Do you take part in secret Santa?
Every year! 

13: Have you ever had a white christmas? If yes, do you ever want to have christmas without snow and vice versa.
I've never had a white Christmas... which is pretty much the regular in Southern California. I do live at the base of the mountains, and it the city has been dusted with snow on rare occasion, but never like that. I'd love to have one, though!

14: How many Christmas card do you usually send out? 
I couldn't say for sure, but I give one out with at least one present per person.

15: Have you started Christmas stocking yet?
No, sir.

16: When did you find out Santa wasn’t real?
I was in the 6th grade and it happened at lunch. I was internally devastated, but I didn't want to be the only weenie who was upset, so I put on my best pokerface and acted like it was no big deal (totally common knowledge, duh!).

17: Have you ever been to a Christmas parade?
Seen in'em, been in'em, loved and hated them.

18: Which lights are better: white or colored and blinking or still?
I definitely prefer the white lights... because I'm boring and all. But I like the look of outlining the windows in colored lights and doing the rest of the house-trim in white. Just festive and classy.

19: If you were an elf what would your name be?
Something totally expected like Sugar Plum.

20: What color ornaments do you put on your tree?
There's never been a set color-scheme for our trees. Traditional: red, blues, greens, golds, and silvers, but handmade and sentimental macaroni made ornaments, too. There's always been a lot of love put on our trees.

21: What kind of tree you have: fake or real? If real, what type?
Fake, Charlie Brown's. Though we'll probably go get a small tree closer to Christmas, once Finn is home. 

22: Do you hang a wreath up?
Yes, please.

23: Ham or Turkey?
I'm not really a ham person, but it's been known to happen. I prefer turkey, but we usually have roast (it's universally approved of in my family-- even Finn will eat it).

24: Do you go to a church service or go caroling?
Neither, though I love going caroling! It's been too long.

25: Does your family have a Christmas breakfast or dinner?
Both. We celebrate just the immediate family the morning of, and then the whole family on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day/Night. We do things accordingly.

Music and Christmas.

Ingrid Michaelson's first single off her new album, Human Again (which will be released in January)
"Ghost"
It's no secret, she's one of my absolute favorite lyricists/singers, and I'm super stoked for her new CD! I'm thinking I'll pick it up as a belated birthday present to myself.
Speaking of birthdays, I'll have my '22 before 23' list up soon! I can't believe my birthday is just right around the corner. No idea what I'll do to celebrate this year, but I'm sure I'll think of something when the time comes.

Anyway, I wanted to post my Christmas list. I've been debating on bullet-points or links, but as much fun as links or actual pictures are, I have work in the AM and my sleepytime tea is already working its magic! So, bullet-points it is, folks!

-Benefit's Crescent Row Limited Edition Perfume Set: includes, Ring My Bella (I have a miniature in my purse), Laugh With Me Leelee, Garden of Good & Eva, and My Place or Yours Gina
-Benefit's Silky Finish lipstick in Nice Knickers
-Benefit's Creaseless Shadow/Cream Eyeliner in either, Flatter Me or R.S.V.P

-Mac's Fluidline in Blitz & Glitz
-Mac's 263 Small Angle Brush

-Family of Friends Dress
-Craving Curry Dress in Saffron
-Feeling Scent-Imental Dress
-Too Much Fun Dress in Gardens

-A Game of Thrones 4-boxed Gift Set
-The Hunger Games Companion (Yes, obsessed)
-City of Fallen Angels
-Clockwork Prince
-One Day
-Giftcards for Barnes & Noble (which is without fail every year)
-Mindy Kaling: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
-Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women
-And a score of cookbooks.
Oh..
-The Jane Austen Handbook (how could I not?)

-New boots, tan, black, 'leather' or suede.

-And a few random things from Etsy.

As always, I don't expect to get it all and figure if I can't live without it, I'll just go and purchase it myself-- simple as that.

 Finn will be home in four days and I'm excited to see him. Then we can finish Christmas shopping for our parents and what not!

I'm going to listen to Ingrid Michaelson and drink tea until I pass out, all.
Cheers.

(I may start posting songs from my Harry Potter Jingle Spells Christmas CD, circa 2007! Get ready for some Remus and the Lupins, kids!)

The Hunger Games Challenge (Spoilers)

Like the title says, there will be spoilers ahead! So if you haven't read the books and plan on it, I'd say to stay clear of this entry until you do. If you don't care either way, no worries.

1. Favorite Character:
I'm torn between a few characters! Katniss, Cinna, and Finnick are at the top of my list. Since the story is told exclusively from Katniss' point of view, it's hard not to relate to her/sympathize with her to some degree. At the end of the trilogy, I felt as though she was a dear friend. Cinna is just incredible! He's one of those characters I didn't expect to like, but ended up loving more than I thought possible. Calm, reserved, and full of resolve, he outshines some of the more prominent characters by miles. And Finnick! Another character I wasn't expecting to like! When he's first introduced he's arrogant, brash, and unpleasant, but as his story and development unfolds, as readers we're treated to a rather wonderful and complex character.

2. Least Favorite Character:
There's no competition for me, it's Coin all of the way. And if you've read the books, you can understand completely why! She's bitter; driven solely by her need for revenge and power. Even though she tries to come across as harmless and in debt to Katniss, you can tell from the beginning that she had her own agenda and would go to any length to see it through-- which has some terrible results.

3. A Character You Hate That Everyone Loves:
I'm not sure if I actually dislike any of the characters that people are die-hard for? I suppose Annie on her own isn't a strong enough character for me to take notice of-- Finnick makes her character. Without him, I hardly noticed when she was mentioned. I don't hate her and I can feel for her, but in my opinion, she isn't worth the big deal everyone makes about her.

4. A Character You Love That Everyone Hates:
I know I could get potential shit for this, but I absolutely love President Snow. I sound evil, I'm sure; but even though he perpetuates the games and the inequality among the Districts and Capitol, I remember that he is a product of his environment. If he hadn't been born into the Capitol, filled with ambitions for the Presidency, he might have turned out to be another Haymitch or even another Finnick. In the first book I honestly didn't take notice of him: he was secondary to the Games itself. But once I opened Catching Fire, I had no choice but to pay attention to him. He was cold, calculating, and manipulative, but at the end of it all, he kept his promises to Katniss-- which is something no one expected of him.

5. My Favorite Fight/Battle Scene
My favorite fight/battle would have been the Careers vs. Katniss at the tree, with the Tracker Jackers' nest and hallucinations. But, honestly, I think the entirety of the 74th Hunger Games, and the 75th Hunger Games would be my favorite. I know, I suck.

6. A Scene That Made You Laugh
1.“Finnick?" I say, "Maybe some pants?" 
He looks down at his legs as if noticing his outfit for the first time. Then he whips off his hospital gown leaving him in just his underwear. "Why? Do you find this" -- he strikes a ridiculously provocative pose -- "distracting?" 
I laugh. Boggs looks embarrassed and Finnick looks more like the guy I met at the Quarter Quell” 
2. “So it's you and a syringe against the Capitol? See, this is why no one lets you make the plans.”  
7. A Scene That Made You Cry:
Rue's death was by far the hardest to read. It honestly broke my heart a little bit. And of course, Katniss' reaction continued to break my heart into tinier pieces. It's hard seeing almost any character, in any series, meet their end, but it felt especially poignant because she was so young. It was made harder by the fact that Rue represented Prim in Katniss' mind. I cried through the end of Mockingjay as well; just straight through the last 100 pages or so til the end. I was a wreck.

8. The Character You Are Most Like:
I related the most to Katniss, Prim, and Finnick, I think. As far as Katniss goes, she spends a majority of her time detached and when things are rough, I do the same thing. I become distant and cold in order to protect myself or those around me. Prim is Katniss' opposite; she is warm, naive, and goes above and beyond for people she doesn't know. At times, I am exactly that and I use it as a strength, rather than a weakness. Finnick and I share the same ability to use humor as a defense. Not only that, we hide our own insecurities behind a mask of self-assurance and no one has the audacity to call either of us on it.

9. Your Favorite Quote:
How unfair is this? Dear God.
1. “Deep in the meadow, hidden far away 
A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray 
Forget your woes and let your troubles lay 
And when it's morning again, they'll wash away 
Here it's safe, here it's warm 
Here the daisies guard you from every harm 
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true 
Here is the place where I love you.”

2.  "May the odds be ever in your favor" (every time I read it, I get the chills)

3. "You love me: Real or Not Real?"
"Real."

4.  "If we burn, you burn with us."

10.  Peeta or Gale:
Hands down, Peeta; but with that being said, I don't dislike Gale. Actually, when I first started reading, I was hoping for Gale (if only because I had nothing but the trailer to base my opinions off of) and I felt horribly for Gale while Katniss and Peeta explored their 'relationship' during the Games. I really like Gale, but he and Katniss are too much alike, I think. Peeta is sort of her redemption, while Gale would do nothing but continue to let her burn.

11. Something You Hate About the Series:
The pace of Mockingjay was just a clusterfuck. There's no polite way to say it. I understand that it's war and things do not move slowly once the ball gets rolling, but there was literally nothing for me to grasp on to aside from a few deaths, and even those weren't as important as they should have been. Katniss losing her shit towards the end was the most disconcerting bit-- since the story was told from her point of view and all. There was no cognitive thread or understanding, just weird morphling induced bat-shit craziness and then a rushed resolution. With that being said, I don't think the story, being told as it was, could have ended a different way, with different pacing. I just wish it had been as well written as the first two books.

12. A Character You Wish Hadn't Died:
Um, all of them? Well, most of them anyway! Rue, Mister Mellark, Mags, Wiress, Darius, Cray, Thresh, Portia, Madge, Finnick, Cinna, Boggs; every-fucking-one! But I think the one that really bothered me the most was Prim. If you've seen nothing but the preview for the movie, you know saving Prim is the catalyst for the entire story being told. To have her die in the final act was a slap in the face. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she died, and at such an anti-climax, as well. Logically, it was a great set-up and really helped along the plot, but I'm bitter about it.

13. A Character You Wish Had Died:
There's not one character I wish had died, that didn't. Sorry.

14. Your Favorite Tribute (not Katniss/Peeta):
Aside from Finnick and Rue, who are obviously at the top of my list, I'd say Johanna! What a complete and utter badass?! Can we just remember how she supported Beetee's body, as well as taking care of Wiress' crazy ass? How she attacked Katniss just to remove her tracker? And then survived the Capitol's torture to come back and help rehabilitate Katniss, Finnick, and Peeta? This girl is incredible.

15. You Least Favorite Tribute (not Katniss/Peeta):
Enobaria. Aside from the fact that she was a victor, increidbly cruel, and had her teeth sharpened to points, I knew nothing about her. And I think I prefer it that way.

16. A Question You Wish Had Been Answered in the Book:What happened to Johanna, Beetee, Gale, Annie, Mrs. Everdeen? And eventually, Haymitch? He was prominent when they returned to the Victor's Village, but in the epilogue there's no mention of him.

17. The Worst Death:As I've gone over, Rue and Prim had the most devastating deaths in my opinion. But Cato had the most gruesome of anyone in the Games. It was painful to read and I'm not sure how they'll do it on screen and do justice to the agony he goes through in the book. It's terrible.

18. A Song That Reminds You of the Series:Massive Attack's "Paradise Circus" reminds me of the relationship between Katniss and Peeta from the first book, to the page of the last. Real/Not Real? Is it a lie? If so, who's lying? What about Gale? Also, Metric's "Monster Hospital (MSTRKRFT remix)". It's sort of crazed and hectic and disorientating, just like war and the pacing of the last book.

19. Your Favorite Pairing:Peeta/Katniss, Finnick/Annie, Beetee/Wiress, Mrs. Everdeen/ Mr. Mellark, and though it isn't really canon, I thought Hazelle would have been good for Haymitch.

20. Your Least Favorite Pairing:It isn't the least bit implied in canon, but I've seen Snow/Coin.... what? No.

21. A Pairing You Don't Get:Aside from Snow/Coin up there? Gale/Prim. It's unseemly, she was twelve when the story starts and is dead by fourteen, Gale is at least six years older than she is. I know that he loved her, but it was obviously as a kid-sister, and not as potential partner.

22. Your Favorite Book of the Three:The Hunger Games.

23. Your Favorite Secondary Character:
Can't they all be favorites? I ended up really respecting Effie's character and Katniss' prep team. My love knows no bounds for Cinna and I came away absolutely adoring Boggs. I'm also saddened that they're cutting Madge from the movie.

24. Least Favorite Secondary Character:Can I just use Enobaria for all of these least favorites?

25. Your Dream Cast:I think they've done a great job with Katniss (though I would have loved to see Kaya Scodelario in the role), as well as Gale, Cinna, President Snow, Prim, Rue, Cato, Clove, Thresh, and Foxface. There's no one I can see playing Peeta, though Josh-what's-his-face is growing on me daily. I think the only person I'm really invested in as far as characters yet to be cast is Finnick. And Armie Hammer is ideal in my mind. They could have done better with Haymitch, but we'll see how Woody does.

26. Your Favorite Scene in The Hunger Games:There's a few: When Katniss is thoroughly peeved at the judges and shoots an arrow at their lunch table, piercing the apple.
The interviews with Ceasar Flickerma before the Games start.
Anything with Cinna.
Katniss singing for Rue, and then covering her in daisies.
The three-finger gesture District 12 gives to Katniss as she volunteers as Tribute.
Um, Nightlock Berries.
And her time with Peeta.
Also, Haymitch is just awesome to have around.

27. Your Favorite Scene in Catching Fire:The ceremonies in both District 11 and 8. I loved the way Katniss and Peeta spoke about Rue and Thresh, and even awarded their families with rations for their bravery. The hint of uprising in District 8, though sad, was incredible.
Katniss' bender with Haymitch.
Again, the interviews with the Tributes the night before the Quarter Quell and the show of solidarity.
Finnick being Finnick.
Cinna being Cinna.
Mags being a badass old woman.
Beetee and Wiress.
Johanna being a bitch, but being awesome.
The female Morphling sacrificing herself for Peeta and her death scene.
All of it, okay? Geeze.

28. Your Favorite Scene in Mockingjay?Katniss finally getting her shit together and accepting her spot at the head of the rebellion.
Peeta's rehabilitation.
Real/Not Real.
Finnick being Finnick.
The general uprising.
The resolution.

29. Your Favorite Thing About the Entire Series:The characters, the sense of urgency, the sense of rebellion, and an incredible (if not realistically devastating dystopian) world that the series emerges us in.

30. A Book/Series You'd Urge Other Fans to Read:Well, Harry Potter, of course.
If you're determined to stay within the YA genre, then The Mortal Instruments Series and the Gemma Doyle (A Great and Terrible Beauty) Trilogy. If not, however: The Castings Trilogy, American Gods, and the Pellinor Saga (which should really not be classified as YA).

Little Old Update.

(Heavy Cross- Gossip!)

I feel like there's so much going on! But aside from working and finishing The Hunger Games trilogy in a week, I'm not really sure that's the case.

Work has been good, but exhausting! Yesterday I followed my client around one of the local malls for six or so hours, and at the end of it all, I was carrying about eight big bags and three tiny ones. I've never done that much shopping in my life! My boss even bought me a new pair of shoes for my troubles, and something from Swarovski as a Christmas bonus. When I got home yesterday at around 830, I was shaking from how heavy the bags were. I'm sure it didn't help that until we sat down to eat at 6pm, that I hadn't really eaten all day. The power had gone down the night before due to wind storms, and it wasn't back up for hours; that morning I had just enough time to take a shower and sock-bun my curls for the day, when it finally came back on.

Suffice it to say, I'm a little more than sore today.

Wednesday would have been my cousin Jill's 30th birthday. She passed away in 2009 while on vacation in Thailand with her fiance, Ryan. So, when 5pm rolled around, those of us who were able took shots in her honor. I was working and had no choice but to take a sip of coffee for her, but I'm sure she would have appreciated the gesture regardless. We had so many plans! I was going to come visit her and my sister in Washington, and we were going to spend our time together going through antique shops, going to art galleries, and generally wrecking-havoc. We were never incredibly close growing up, but as adults we were able to form a relationship despite the distance and divorce that had originally kept us apart as kids. Since she passed, I've been so grateful for those moments we were able to spend together as friends and family.

Let's see..

Oh, so like I mentioned, I ended up reading The Hunger Games. At first I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it/finish it at all. When it came out in 2008, I had been introduced to greats like Neil Gaiman and Chuck Palaniuk and wasn't sure if I would be able to read anything remotely YA for some time. But all of the reviews I had seen were amazing, but when I went to pick it up, I saw that it was written in the first person narrative and immediately put it back down.

I'm of the opinion that first POV should be reserved for essays or journal entries, but not for an entire novel. It just bothers me-- more than any other literary device there is.

But after seeing the previews and knowing I needed something to keep me entertained while my mom had her surgery, I went ahead and bought it anyway. At first I honestly couldn't get past the narration, but when I finally hit my stride, I was able to enjoy it and finish it in a night.

I just finished Mockingjay last night (the third book in the trilogy), and I have to say how sorely I misjudged the writing. It's young adult, yes; but there's something about them that makes me weary about younger children reading them. I can't imagine a 13 year old walking away from it and being okay.

Just really unexpected and well-done. I haven't cared that much about characters or a story-line in a long time.

Speaking of books, I bought Finn two for Christmas: The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (in Real Life) (Chris Hardwick) and Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett).

When I heard about the former, I knew I was going to buy it for him. It's a self-help book, but I think he'll enjoy the comedy in it more than anything. As for the other, it's one of my favorite books! Finn likes Neil Gaiman (he steals my copy of Neverwhere and Anansi Boys all of the time), but he rarely ever buys anything for himself aside from games. It's a hilarious telling about the end of the world, and the accidental loss of the Antichrist in an orphanage. There are two covers: one that is black, white, with red accents and the likeness of the fast-living demon mentioned in the summary; and the other is black, white, with golden accents and a similar accents of the fussy angel. I have the first, so I thought I'd get him the companion cover for fun. I think he'll dig it. And I'm excited for Christmas to give them to him!

Most of what I want for Christmas comes from Modcloth, bookshops, and Etsy. Also, a new pair of boots would be wonderful. But I'm not expecting anything too grand.

I feel stupidly jumbled right now. I apologize!

Last night was the first time I've gotten a decent amount of sleep in days, and I don't think I'm fully out the haze yet.

Anyway, hope you're all doing well!