Welcoming in the New Year

What I've Learned in 2011:
-It's impossible to move forward, if you're constantly looking back
-No one loves me quite like my mother
-I will always love my brothers and sister, no matter how pig-headed, bitchy, or rude they are
-Disliking someone doesn't make you strong/better, it makes you bitter
-And carrying hate is a poison
-You can never go back, no matter how desperately you want to
-When in doubt, write
-When in doubt, read
-When in doubt, sing
-Loving yourself is the whole battle, but some days, it's like war.
-I don't deserve Kristin, and somehow she's still by my side
-Leaving is hard; leaving slowly is worse
-Always keep a smile on your face
-Not everyone will understand, but those that love you will at least make an effort
-It's better to lose an argument, than to lose a friend
-Forgiveness is for yourself, not for the other person
-Tea in the morning is the best possible way to start the day
-Tea before bed is the best possible way to end the night
-Wanting something isn't enough, you have to pursue it
-You can't wish things into fruition
-It's more than okay to cry
-It's okay to be vulnerable
-It's okay to protect yourself, as well
-Waiting for something or someone, that will never happen/come, is a waste of time
-There is always room for improvement

-Change is constant and never-ending
-Expect the unexpected
-Those who love you, who you love, will undoubtedly let you down
-Never leave home without a true designated driver
-Beauty isn't hard to find, it's in everything and everyone
-Don't give up on books (even if they're in the first person narrative)
-I am loved more than I know

It really is unbelievable that we're saying goodbye to another year.
I've healed beyond what I thought possible at the start of 2011. I'm grateful for what has been a truly unexpected mix of uncertainty, love, tears, and what seems like an endless supply of laughter and affection. I've been lucky enough to realize who my true friends are, who they've always been, and those who would have me around for entertainment when they're bored. I've found a will in myself that I thought I'd lost, though it took me longer to find my resolve than I would have liked. I've never loved myself or been more dedicated to making the best life possible for myself. My respect for my mother grows daily, my gratitude for my little brother has never wavered, and I know that at the end of the day, my older siblings love me, just as much as I love them.

It's been a hard year. And because of that, I'm looking forward to moving on, leaving it behind, and enforcing all I've learned to make my life a better one.

And as weird as it sounds, through all the hardship, I've never had a better year. I was able to let my hair down in a way I've never had the chance to before. Every waking moment was full of friends and love and memories being made. And I will cherish those moments for the rest of my life.

2012 will be better.
Not because it has to be, but because I'm going to work hard to make sure it is.

I'm going to ring it in with my best friend, as we wear our pretty clothes and drink marshmallow flavored vodka, while we play board games. And I honestly couldn't think of a better way to greet the coming year: my mom, my best friend, and my brother (and of course, a quick call to my nephews and older siblings).

I'm grateful. I'm thankful. And I'm already nostalgic for this conflicting, but ridiculously beautiful year.

Thanks, 2011.
Hey there, 2011; you're just in time.